1993 Honda Crossroad

CRAZY JDM #14

This is the Honda Crossroad. It doesn't really do anything a Honda would typically do. Instead it is designed to be a big, rugged off roader. The key word is 'designed' as it will always refuse to start and instead leak gallons of fluids all over the owner's driveway, whoever was unfortunate enough to own it in the first place. Might be quite practical when it ever does start though. 7 Seats!


AN UNRELIABLE HONDA? WITCHCRAFT!
No, not witchcraft, rather 'Rover'. Rover was a British car company. Most people who have any idea about the company will know that 'Rover' stands for Rusty Oxidising Vehicles - Excessively Repulsive. Okay, they made a couple of cars that actually quite nice such as the SD1 & 75 etc but they were all made of compressed rust & assembled with toothpicks.
So what does Rover have to do with this whole agenda?
Most British people will know Rover was in a deal with Honda where they would work together. It could have gone so well - note how I just said 'could have' as the companies threw a great big 'that's what they would be expecting' at any positive innovation and instead made genericised Hondas with an added bonus - rust, and lots of Red Diesel too of course. The biggest loss from this was the Rover 800, a Honda Legend that got built by Rover. It was the first and only Rover sold in the US known there as the 'Sterling 827. Most Americans may have forgot it as it was in production for such a short time due to reliabilty issues. Also the Crossroad was, if you haven't figured out already, a rebadged 1st gen Land Rover Discovery with a Honda badge. It's still a JDM though as it was only sold in Japan. Thus I have an excuse to moan about it here. Hooray!

HOW FAST?
Specs for the only engine, the V8i.
182bhp
0-62 in 11.5 seconds - provided the engine doesn't blow.
Just under 106mph

MORE PHOTOS PLEASE!

Deliciously Purple Promotional Picture

Compare & contrast with the Land Rover equivalent

Read 'Pride of Breaking Down' for true accuracy

The fact that there's more promotional pics than live photographs proves that those who bought it were quite a lonely bunch.

Wait, it still exists in real life! Maybe they weren't so lonely after all. Let's wait for the grand reopening of the Honda Crossroad owner's club.

CAN I BUY ONE?

If you're from the USA then no, it's too new. If you're able to import one expect prices from err... I honestly don't know. This car is not up for sale in decent numbers anywhere so prices are mostly unknown. Buy a Land Rover Discovery instead if you're the sort of person up for this car as its almost exactly the same.

CRAZY JDM RATING!

Silly size & proportions? NO

Silly styling? NO

Silly engineering? NO (But if sillly = unreliable, then maybe)

Silly idea behind it? YES

●◦◦1/4 A mostly sober car with a couple of cool and different features.

2001 Honda Stepwgn

CRAZY JDM #13

This is the Honda Stepwgn. And no, that was not a typo, this is the Honda Stepwgn - extra emphasis on the 'WGN' required for the sake of authenticity. Though introduced in 1995, the 2001 Stepwgn was where things really got crazy; by that I mean it began to look tacky instead of dreary. Despite all of this, I like the Stepwgn, even if it has sliding doors on only one side for some quirky reason.



DON'T HONDA HAVE A MILLION AND ONE OF THESE TYPES OF CARS ALREADY?
Yes, and that's why it exists! You see, around this time the SUV trend was beginning. You know, the Land Rovers and Jeeps were beginning to being used as picking-the-kids-up-from-school-on-time machines as opposed to the messing-up-the-countryside-leaking-red-diesel-everywhere machines which they were supposed to be. Honda wanted to get some money out of this fad so their solution was the Stepwgn, basically a big boxy van with windows that had been made higher up so you can get the kids out without breaking your spine or something. It has 4 seating arrangements: cargo mode; sleep mode; food mode (don't question it) and play mode where the seats swivel because that's every kid's ultimate epitome of enjoyment. Despite now having many more cars that do the same job, Stepwgn is still being made. Why this is remains one of the great unsolved mysteries of our time but I reckon it has something to do with Honda's abnormally large fake chrome supply.

HOW FAST?
I''m not sure you would find this useful but it's a VTEC so it should have some grunt.
157.81119485bhp (Very specific figure because maths).
0-60 in 8.5 seconds (not bad at all for a car this size).
118mph (Limited).

MORE PHOTOS PLEASE!

Yes, someone lowered Honda's deliberately raised car - clever.

Remember when I talked about all that fake chrome? ...Yeah.

Because nothing says JDM like a van resembling a (surprisingly classy) kitchen appliance.

It looks like an old Volvo from this view.

Now you can drool over that leather. Not sure if it's real leather or fake leather though.

CAN I BUY ONE?

Too new to be imported to the USA but everywhere else expect to see prices from £2,000 to £6,000 for a 2nd generation car like the on this post (I'll cover the other ones another time). Use a currency converter if you need to covert to a different currency, price excludes importing price (obviously).

CRAZY JDM RATING!

Silly styling? NO

Silly engineering? NO

Silly idea behind it? YES

●◦◦1/3 A mostly sober car with a couple of cool and different features.

1991 Nissan Cedric & 1991 Nissan Gloria

CRAZY JDM #8 & #9

This is the Nissan Cedric. It happens to be the same as the car pictured below, the Nissan Gloria. Succeeding the '87 Cedric that is still being used a taxi today & preceding the modified from the factory drift-missile, the '95 Gloria, these cars sit awkwardly in between like raisins at a sweet shop. And they have silly names too.



THESE CARS LOOK FAMILIAR, WHY?
Quite simple really. In the 1990s when Nissan had more 4 door cars than there are people living on the world right now, they just had to design something for that guy. You know that guy, the person who dreams of owning a big German luxury car but is forced to use boxes for furniture and has to seal his leaky house using noisy putty so he doesn't run out of money. Yeah, that guy. Nissan's answer to that guy's wishes was to create what is essentially a Nissan Cima in a fat suit and make it 'look' like a German luxury car. Nissan advertised the Cedric as the upmarket version & the Gloria as the sporty version? Don't give me those lies Nissan! It doesn't take a genius to figure out that the Cedric is aping Mercedes and that the Gloria is wearing a BMW mask. Just look at the image gallery.

HOW FAST?
From the top of the range V30 Twin Cam Gran Turismo Altima model...
251bhp
That's all the data I have sadly.
Imagine an old Cima that's a bit lighter and you're close.

MORE PICTURES PLEASE!

Well, you asked for more!

Just for reference, here is a 1991 Gloria

And here is a 1991 BMW 5 Series

And here's the rear of a 1991 S-Class, see the resemblance?

CAN I BUY ONE?

Nope, it's painfully rare in countries it's not sold in and too new to be imported to the US. It's not even sold as an Infiniti as far as I'm aware of. However if you encounter a slightly more common Y32 Cima, just put headlight covers/a fancy grille on it and it looks exactly like a Gloria/Cedric. Or just import one from £2,000 to £7,000.

CRAZY JDM RATING!

Silly styling? NO

Silly engineering? NO

Silly idea behind it? YES

●◦◦1/3 A mostly sober car with a couple of cool and different features.

1998 Nissan Sileighty

CRAZY JDM #2

This is the Nissan Sileighty. While Nissan is known for their legendary Skyline GTR & Z cars. They also made 2 coupes, the Silvia & the 180SX. These were popular with the youth; who were more likely to crash, especially if they were drifters. 180SXs With damaged front ends would use parts from the '89 Silvia as they fitted perfectly and were cheaper. Thus the Sil(Silvia)eighty(180SX) was born.


SO IT'S NOT AN OFFICIAL MODEL?
Wrong, the Sileighty fad grew so popular that Nissan even made a few models from their factories. Some tuners would even made an Onevia. The One(180SX)via(Silvia) was the same thing in reverse (a Silvia with a 180SX front end) but this was not as popular as the car and front end parts were more expensive.

HOW FAST?
Same stats as 180SX.
205bhp
0-62 in 7.1 seconds
145mph

MORE PHOTOS PLEASE!

Modified

180SX

1989 Silvia

Sileighty Front

Sileighty Rear

CAN I BUY ONE?

Well the Silvia and 240SX were both made in 1989 so an early one is past the US import cap. In other areas they are relatively hard to find but not that expensive. Alternatively you could just get a 180/200/240SX and crash it then replace the front though I wouldn't recommend that. :)

CRAZY JDM RATING!

Silly styling? NO

Silly engineering? NO

Silly idea behind it? YES

●◦◦1/3 A mostly sober car with a couple of cool and different features.